Truyện cười song ngữ _i love you

A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, "I love you". The wife asked, "Is that you or the beer talking" He said, "It's me........ I'm talking to the beer"! Dịch  tiếng  anh sang tiếng việt Một người đàn ông ra ngoài uống rượu với vợ vào đêm nọ và anh ấy nói " Anh yêu em" Người  vợ hỏi: " Anh nói hay bia nói vậy ? Anh ta đáp :" Chính anh ....Anh đang nói chuyện với chai bia ...

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Dịch tiếng anh_The gift of the magi

One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one''s cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty- seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas. There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. While...

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Dịch tiếng anh_The rules for being human

1. You will receive a bodyYou may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period.2. You will be presented with lessonsYou are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.3. There are no mistakes, only lessonsGrowth is a process of trial and error: experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."4. A lesson is repeated until learnedA lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you...

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Dịch tiếng anh_ASKING PERMISSION

“Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can t live without me, and she wants to marry me.”“And you re asking my permission to marry her?”“No, I m asking you to make her leave me alone.” XIN PHÉP “Thưa bác, con gái bác nói yêu cháu, và cô ấy không sống được nếu không có cháu, và cô ấy muốn cưới cháu.”“Và anh đang xin tôi cưới nó à?”“Không, cháu đang hỏi bác làm sao cho cô ấy bỏ mặc cháu ạ.”...

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Dịch tiếng anh_BILINGUAL PARROT

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a purple string tied to its left leg and a brown string tied to it s right leg. He asks the shop keeper the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the purple string he speaks in French and if you pull the brown string he speaks in German,” replies the owner.“Really! And what happens if I pull both the strings?” the curious shopper asks. “I fall off my perch you stupid fool!!” screeches the parrot. CON VẸT NÓI HAI THỨ TIẾNG Một người đàn ông đi tiếng hàng những con vật...

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Dịch tiếng anh_ENJOY QUỲNH 'S POEMS

When Quỳnh was young,he had to cross the river in a small., three-plank ferryboad to go to school .Sometimes,he đi not have enough money to pay the low fare. The ferrywoman had a kind heart and knew that Quỳnh was a good student., When he could not pay .,she let him travel free of charge.,Quỳnh finished learning at the village school and went to the city to continue his study.,in time ,he became a mandarin and one day decided to return to his villageThe same woman was still rowing her ferryboad across the river.,Quỳnh was sincerely pleased to see her again and asked about her family.,She told...

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Dịch tiếng anh_Jesus Was

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:1. He called everyone brother2. He liked Gospel3. He didn''''t get a fair trialBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:1. He went into His Father''''s business2. He lived at home until he was 333. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was GodBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:1. He talked with His hands2. He had wine with His meals3. He used olive oilBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:1. He never cut His hair2. He walked...

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Dịch tiếng anh_God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." Chúa đang nhìn đấy?Bọn trẻ đang xếp hàng trong nhà ăn của trường tiểu học Catholic để ăn trưa. Ở phía đầu bàn có để một đống táo. Bà xơ ghi chú ý lên một mảnh giấy, và dán ở trên...

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Dịch tiếng anh_A perfect son

A: I have the perfect son.B: Does he smoke?A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he drink whiskey?A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he ever come home late?A: No, he doesn’t.B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. Cậu con hoàn hảo A : Tôi có một cậu con trai hoàn hảoB : Cậu ta có hút thuốc không?A : Không hềB : Cậu ta có uống rượu không?A : KhôngB : Thế cậu ta có thường về muộn không?A : KhôngB : Tôi nghĩ bà có cậu con trai thật hoàn hảo. Mà cậu ta bao nhiêu tuổi rồi ?A : Thứ Tư tới nó sẽ được 6 tháng tuổi. dichtienganh.info_...

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Dịch tiếng anh_Lunch at school

“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.” said the boy.“Why not, son?”“Well, one of the chicken on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.”“But why don’t you want to go today?”“Because our Biology teacher died yesterday!” Bữa trưa ở trường Con trai nói với bố ” Bố ơi, hôm nay con không muốn đi học đâu.”” Sao lại thế, con?”” Tuần trước, một con gà ở trại của trường bị chết và trưa ngày hôm sau chúng con ăn súp gà trong bữa trưa. Rồi cách đây 3 ngày một con lợn bị chết...

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Dịch tiếng anh_Let them quit the game early

A wife was telling her “Football Referee” husband:- Dear! There is an anniversary of death in my parents family. You’ll prepare to go there with me, won’t you?- Alas! I can’t go, because this afternoon I have to work as a referee for the Championship Cup Competition Football Match. You’ll have to go alone!- That’s unacceptable! It’s my Great Grandma. If you don’t come, my relatives will insult me.- So, when will the anniversary begin? -At 5:00pm.- Alas! The match will finish at 5:15pm- My God! What a strange man you are! Just tell the players you want them to quit playing a bit early. You...

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Dịch tiếng anh_The Most Stupid Man on Earth

There was a flood in a village. One man said to everyone, “I’ll stay! God will save me!” The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said “Come on mate, get in!” “No” replied the man. God will save me! The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house. A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.” No, God will save me!” he said Eventually he died by drowning. He arrived at the gates of heaven and he said to God “Why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!” Người đàn...

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